sharp wound
the V of geese
drops one
brusca ferita
la V delle oche
ne lascia cadere una
Jan Benson
Fort Worth, TX, USA
~o~
selected and translated by Lucia Fontana
Submit your poem to : https://www.chanokeburi.it/2211-2/
~o~
previously published :
https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/earthrise/earthrise2017.pdf
Lucia,
Your generosity in translating this haiku into Italian is deeply appreciated.
Regards,
Jan Benson
(Loved the accompanying photo you shared).
You are very welcome dear Jan ! haiku and shots are a ‘here and now’… that’s why i really enjoy to match them … of course the reader will stop and start to think, going back to the L1 after having in his mind that natural event showed in the ku… I’m still thinking about it … <3
Great opening line too!
Alan
Hi Jan,
I really like sharp wound as the opening line, it makes us wonder what will follow. It’s interesting that the flapping of wings that one goose creates is an uplift for the goose immediately following. That “When a goose drops out of the v-formation it quickly discovers that it requires a great deal more effort and energy to fly.”
And that “Scientists also discovered that when one goose becomes ill, is shot or injured, and drops out of the formation, two other geese will fall out of formation and remain with the weakened goose.”
Wonderfully iconic fellow animals.
warm regards,
Alan
thank you dear Alan, the explication about geese’s behavior is very amazing !
this is one of the greatest juxtapositions I’ve ever read
. . . I beg both pardon for the waiting.
Yes, been reading your comments, and of course it could be that the sharp wound is a goose being shot. The author of the poem experiences that pain too.
sharp wound
the V of geese
drops one
brusca ferita
la V delle oche
ne lascia cadere una
Jan Benson
Italian by Lucia Fontana
It’s that uncomfortableness of ‘drops one’ almost casual that makes this haiku very visceral. In the U.K. geese are seen as luxury food, even goose fat for making roast potatoes is seen as posh. But of course we do tend to cannibalise our fellow animal species, being apex predators.
A very sad and disturbing haiku for some readers, unless you are a regular hunter/killer of course. And some people are so genuinely poor that a rifle is all that stands between starvation and taxes and death.
A very fine haiku.
warm regards,
Alan Summers
President, United Haiku and Tanka Society
Thank You, Alan.
Spot on explication.
Jan
Thanks! I didn’t see it that way first, but I forget geese do get shot in some countries. One of those haiku you want to come back to more than once.
Thanks Alan,
I’ve worked on a “missing goose in the V” for over six years, even once with an iteration on a grid I constructed for “Shape Poems”.
The Line One Opener is rather fresh, and I thank you for acknowledging its draw on the reader.
After reading this for a few days, I began to second guess the phrase, as maybe being too
Shiki-simple.
Very glad for Lucia’s comment on the jux, combined with your reading and explication.
Thank You Both for your encouraging words.
Jan Benson